Friday, 1 December 2017

Cuckold

As a beta-male, all my romantic relationships with women have always ended with me being sexually humiliated. If strapons are not introduced early on in the relationship then cuckolding dynamics are quickly integrated.

For whatever reason, I seem to attract very dominating and kinky woman that are attracted to weak bi-sexual males like me. The forms of humiliation my girlfriends would bestow on me ranged from the psychological to the physical. An example, one of my ex-girlfriends loved to point out other men and tell me how they were more manly than me and could beat me up.


But my most humiliating cuckolding experience was when one of my exes invited her ex-boyfriend over to fuck me. I had recently admitted to her that I was bi-sexual which seem to have triggered in her the desire to see me get fuck by another man. Her ex was actually an alpha male and very big, he could easily beat me up. After he brutally fucked my ass on the couch in front of my girlfriend, he took her to her bedroom and they proceeded to have hot sex while I watched them kneeling in the corner of the room.

She broke up with me several weeks later, saying that she needed a real man in her life.

I admit that all those cuckolding experiences were very confusing for me at that time. On one hand, I was angry and humiliated and on the other, I was very turned on. The confusion only subsided when I accepted my position in the "sexual food chain" as a beta-male and sissy boy.

Now I appreciate and cherish all those cuckolding experiences. But the first woman to cuckold me was actually my own Mother. I believe that sex education starts at home and I have no taboos so I'm comfortable in admitting I always found my Mom to be a very sexy woman. But when she divorced my Dad, she did blossom sexually and was not afraid to express it.

I remember the first time I spied on her having sex with a man that wasn't my father. I recall watching her getting dressed for her date but what really stood out for me, it was the first time I saw her put on stockings and a garter belt. My Mom had beautiful legs and would always wear pantyhose but to see her in very classical lingerie was quite impressive and shocking to me.


But what floored me that night, is that my Mom brought her date home and I recall moments later hearing moaning, slapping and screaming for my Mother's bedroom. Out of curiosity I went to check it out and found her bedroom door was half-open and when I peeked in I saw my Mom on all fours on the bed with a big latin-looking guy taking her from behind.


For a young impressionable boy, it was quite a shock and demasculinizing, knowing I wasn't the men of the house anymore in a way. Seeing my own Mother being so slutty with men other than my father left a mark on my psyche and was one of the early sexual experiences that transformed me into a kinky sissy boy I am now.

Thursday, 30 November 2017

Family Guy

That scene from Family Guy is quite kinky, is that a potential Mother/daughter BBC gangbang that they eluding too?

Wednesday, 29 November 2017

Bullying

I think I was always a sissy and beta boy that's maybe I got bullied so much at school. But there's something maybe strange that I remember is that I would get somewhat turned on by some of the bullyings. I would seem to be arouse being called a fag and sexually humiliated in front of others.


I don't think I had a good understanding of BDSM dynamics at that time but it did arouse certain interests that would become kinks of mine later on.

But there is one incident that really sexualized my experiences of being bullied. The first happened when one of my bullies invited me to his place after school. He was your typical jock but he did have something different about him. I accepted thinking that he might have had a change of heart about me. But once we arrived at his place, he brought me directly to his room, pulled down his shorts and without a hint of hesitation in his voice, told me to get on my knees and suck his dick.

I don't know if it was out of fear, curiosity or arousal but I did as told. I think he might have discovered that I was a good cocksucker because he eventually invited over his place to suck his cock several times a week. His bullying of me did subside but he would sometimes call me a fag in front of his friends, more out of maintaining his reputation than actual malice.

But it makes me wonder that the bullying that us sissies experience while growing up is not sometimes sexual in nature? I just know that if I was in a prison setting, which is very similar to a school playground, I would end being the prison's bitch and probably enjoy it ;)


Saying that bullying is not a good thing, it can be damaging to someone's self-worth but maybe for us sisses there's some way to make it more livable?

Monday, 27 November 2017

Fragance

One my errors when I first started my journey into feminization is that I use to buy my beauty products without taking into consideration the consistency of my fragrance profile.

I would just buy anything that was feminine and cheap but I started to notice after showering or bathing that I didn't smell like anything "special". Basically, all those various feminine smelling soaps and creams would cancel each other out.

So I decided to limit myself to one flavor in all my main beauty products which were cocoa and coconut. The main reason for those two is that they are related to some of my interests like surfing, exotic locations, chocolate and even the 80's, which always reminds me of the beach and Miami.


Having a consistent general fragrance is an important part of developing a feminine persona. Also having a very girly body odor is a great way to attract Alpha males and females. It's also a signal to the world around you that you are beta male.

Saturday, 21 October 2017

The Weinstein Effect

I've been reading about the Weinstein scandal these last weeks, even if I don't condone rape or sexual harassment, I do have an alternative opinion on the subject.

I don't believe using sex and seduction to get a head in your career is something wrong, especially in the entertainment industry. From experience with working with powerful men and woman, they do develop a sense of superiority and expect to be worship in one form or the other.

Sometimes the best way to show your appreciation to powerful people is thru sex. It's something that's been part of human societies since the dawn of civilizations. You just need to read Roman history books to learn how sex was integral part of their social interactions.


One of my kinky Aunts told me once that the best skill every boy and girl should learn to get a head and get out of trouble in life is cock sucking.

And I must say she was right, I have gotten myself into some great places in life and gotten out of some very bad situations by sucking powerful men's cocks.

I think sometimes, we just need to accept that we need to get on our knees once and a while to get a head in life.

But still what Weinstein did was unacceptable, it went beyond the "normal" casting couch thing and was just abusive, it was not at all a sugar daddy thing but just a creepy use of power.

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Fishnet Leggings

My fishnet leggings :)

Maid Uniform

My maid uniform :)